My interview is up at Linda Weaver Clarke’s Blog Spot! I’ll be there through the 19th. I’m giving away an ebook of my latest release, Rogue’s Son. So stop by and leave a comment, ask a question or just say hi! I’d love to hear from you!
If you haven’t already and would like to receive my newsletter – Darcy’s Newsletter – then simply sign up in the side bar. I’ll only send a newsletter when I’ve published a new book, so I promise, you won’t be bombarded with mail. 🙂
A few days before I got married, my sweet mother tried frantically to teach me to do the laundry! Yes…I was spoiled. 🙂 I went to college four blocks from my home and every Thursday I’d bring home my laundry, have a home-cooked meal and watch Hawaii 5-0 on TV!
From original Hawaii 5-0, 1968-1980
Ah, those were the days. All I had to worry about were a few term papers, if the LSUNO Privateers would win their next basketball game ( I was a cheerleader, so this was important), and if I’d have a date on Friday night.
But I digress. Back to laundry…I was still a student when I married Tom and had no idea how to execute some of the “expected” tasks of being a homemaker. I never needed to, since my mother was happy to have ANY excuse to have me come home.
I remember standing at the washer and dryer next to her while she explained about the colors, the whites, how much detergent per size of load, if I should use hot, cold or warm water, use dryer or hang dry? And if dryer, how hot? This type of fabric need this, that type of fabric needed that.
Laundry Day via darcyflynnromances.com
No problem. Easy Peasy. I had it down too, until the second week of married life, when I shrunk my honey’s favorite white shirt. 😦
The poor guy had to give me a laundry lesson right there in the basement of the apartment where we lived. I felt so badly about ruining his shirt and to this day, I never wash anything in hot.
Fast forward about 20 years. My son was eight (for you mothers with young children…that’s when chores are fun, by the way). I was determined he would be prepared to take care of himself in the basic life skills, so… I taught him to wash cloths and to clean the house. He’s 24 and still does a good job. My only regret, is that I didn’t teach him to cook. 🙂
What do wish you’d learned while you were young that would have made your adult life a bit easier?
Do you have any laundry or house hold tips you could share?
For sixteen years, November 27, was a day that I didn’t particularly want to remember. But the fact that it usually falls around Thanksgiving made it hard to ignore. Each year when the 27th of November approached I’d hope when the day came I’d be too busy to realize that it was ‘that’ day.
November 27th is the day my mother passed away. It’s one of the most heartbreaking days of my life. She’d had open heart surgery and she wasn’t supposed to die. She was supposed to recover and join us two weeks later for Thanksgiving. Instead, after ten days of suffering a massive stroke, as well as multiple other complications, she died the day after Thanksgiving.
This year was no different. My routine during this time was to throw myself into the holiday and keep busy. As Thanksgiving approached I hoped November 27th would slip by unnoticed. Then maybe the pain of loosing her would slip by as well. The pain is less to be sure, but I still caught myself hoping I wouldn’t have to face it, again.
Thanksgiving is now past and this morning, I opened my daily devotion book without a thought to the date. It opened to the page I’d read yesterday and there it was, staring me in the face. November 26th. In order to read today’s devotion I had to turn the page. So, I did. November 27th. There it was. I hadn’t escaped as I’d hoped.
The familiar regrets and the sadness returned but only for a brief moment. Seconds after I allowed my mind to turn negative I was struck with a new thought. The still small voice of the Lord seemed to whisper to me…’This is the day your mother entered My presence. This is the day she began eternal life. That’s how you need to think of it.’
Then I read the devotion. A familiar passage from Isaiah. Here’s how it starts.
“I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim. And one cried out to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!”
Then it hit me. My mother sees this scene. This is familiar to her. As a Christian I believe this to be true.
Please know, I’ve had many joyful days and happy memories during the past sixteen years thinking of my mother. Truly, the only melancholy day for me was this one. As it approached each year, I’d try to avoid the pain by avoiding the memory.
Of course, that’s no way to live.
But, I have to tell you since my little epiphany this morning, today has been a joyful one for me. It’s like the sunrise on a new day. I’ll never see November 27th the same way again.
Is there a day, a memory or an event from the past that you wish would pass by unnoticed? Have you like me, gotten stuck in a rut of worry or sadness over something? You may not have lost a loved one but maybe you’ve lost a job or something else you’ve treasured. If so, how have you dealt with it? Have you managed that loss over the months or years? Is so, would you share how?
After a week of cleaning, de-cluttering and packing, my husband and son loaded up the U-Hall truck. This morning, pulling the compact car behind them, they began the 2004 mile journey to Los Angeles, CA.
Hollywood Bound!
Packed and ready to go.
Four years ago, when my son left for college, every one told me that event was the empty nest. I knew that it really wasn’t. I knew that he’d be home for fall, Christmas and spring break and then again for the summer. I knew that it was just practice for the real thing.
The Empty Nest
Right upstairs is an empty room. My son has moved out. He is gone. And even though this time is a bittersweet one for me, I am so happy for him. He is finally going to do what he’s always wanted to do since he was a child. Pursue his dream in film making.
“I make believe”
God’s Speed…
Where are you in your journey with your children? How have you prepared them and yourself for the empty nest? I would love to hear your stories, your thoughts, your tried and true tips and suggestions for those who still have children at home and for those on the cusp of the empty nest.
Years ago, when my son was a toddler, a wise woman told me never to wish my son’s childhood away. She told me that someday I would long to have little hand prints to wash off my living room wall.
I’ve been in this de-cluttering mode for several years, now. On and off, of course, for those of you thinking I’m knee deep in closet clutter on a daily basis. 🙂 If that were the case, I would’ve been done years ago. But truthfully, my biggest problem with taking so many years to get rid of stuff, is sentimentality. I’m the worst at attaching my emotions to things. The saying, ‘you should own things, they shouldn’t own you’, is absolutely true. Problem is, my things own me! They won’t let me get rid of them without a huge fight. And I mean, knock down, drag out.
For example, take my parent’s first piece of furniture…I replaced the faded mirrors with fabric.
My parent’s first furniture purchase.
A small wardrobe they paid $25.00 for, in the 1930’s. They eventually gave it to my grandmother and after she passed away, they gave it to me. I used it for many years and only just recently, sold it. It was difficult to part with for only one reason…it was my parents first piece of furniture. I was emotionally attached to it and as you can see from the picture, not a wonderful piece.
And then there’s this little cheap table. No biggie, right? You’d have no trouble getting rid of this, I’m sure. But, what if there was a story attached? A cute, young couple-just starting out in marriage story. Evoking a sweet, makes me smile every time I look at it, memory. Ahh, now you’re interested. You want to know the story. To heck with the table.
Notice, it’s in the back of my SUV, ready to go back to the Good Will Store, from which it came, over 38 years ago. {I de-cluttered, then cleaned the carpet, by the way. I didn’t want you to see how I really live.} 🙂
But, I digress. This little nondescript, basically ugly table, was the first piece of furniture my husband and I bought. We lived in an apartment at the time and we needed a table for our fish tank. With no money, we shopped at the Good Will Store in Miami, Fl. And there we were, moving in and out of the floor area where we spotted this little gem. We measured it… Perfect for a ten gallon fish tank. We lifted the tag and read, ‘$3.50’. My husband carried it up to the cash register and pulled out all of the change he had in his pocket. Not enough. He looked at me. “You have any change?” He asked. By this time, a line had started to form. I dug through my purse, laid the coins on the counter and between the two of us, counted out $3.27. We looked at each other, then we looked at the clerk. She rolled her eyes and with a wave of her hand said, “Go on. Take it.”
That story is one of my fondest memories. My husband and I owned that table for over 38 years and it’s been a: fish tank table, a back of the sofa table, a guest bedroom table, an end table, a back porch table, a back door table for keys and such. It’s been stripped and stained wood tone, it’s been painted pea green, red and finally, dark blue.
When my husband and I stated out we had very little and what we had was borrowed from an older couple from our church. We slept on the floor for two months until we had enough money to buy a mattress and box springs. Time went by and eventually we were able to buy our first home. We filled it with hand-me-downs from our family and sidewalk sales in the small town where we lived. Soon, our house purchases co-insided with my husband’s business success. With each house, came more empty space and more stuff. Sofas, chairs, dinning sets, tables, bed sets, dishes, decorative items, knick knacks, and on and on it went. Bigger houses and more stuff. If any of you have ever seen the comedian, George Carlin’s stand up routine “Stuff”, well, that was us. *warning…George does use profanity…or I would’ve posted it here*
Forty years ago, today, I met my husband. We’ve been married for 39 years. We were both college students and didn’t have much of anything when we got married. We were so happy and excited, we didn’t realize what we didn’t have. We had each other and that’s all that mattered.
But, now after 39 years of marriage, a college graduate son, and the empty nest…it’s time to go the other way. To get to a point where our things don’t manage us but we mange them. To part with an item that might become another young couple’s little ‘nothing’ table. A table that may come to mean so much to them because of their sacrifice to buy it. When you have nothing, $3.50 is a lot.
Today, I’m taking that table to the Good Will store in Franklin Tn.
From Miami to Franklin. Some might say that’s quite a fall. But let me tell you where that little table has lived…
So…I wonder who will buy it? An up and coming country music singer? Or, someone who lost everything in a house fire? Will it get painted white and sit in a baby girls pink and yellow nursery? Will it house a special rock collection for a rowdy six year old? Will it become grandma’s side table?
Time to cut the sentimental tie. Time to drive to the Good Will store and say good-by.
But, I will always keep the memory. That, I will never have to part with.
How about you, guys? What items hold a special memory for you? Have you parted with them? What advice to do you have for those of us who struggle with parting with ‘stuff’? What’s been your secret to letting go? Please share-tips, suggestions, success stories. We’re all ears. 🙂 Especially, me.
I have a lot more ‘stuff’ to get rid of. In fact, I’m working on a plan to de-clutter my entire house. I’ll tell you more about it in the coming weeks. I’m going to need your help. 🙂
Summer is here and so are the honey bees. Did you know that honey bees are responsible for pollinating one-third of our natural foods and that they are disappearing? Join me in creating a colorful bouquet from which they can feed.
Bee-friendly flowers provide nectar that keeps honey bees alive and pollen that helps fruits and vegetables to grow. If space is limited, you can plant the apporpriate flowers in a pot on your window sill or small balcony. If you have the space, a honey bee garden in your back yard is even better.
Honey Bee Gardening Tips
Choose flowers for their nectar and pollen. Annuals such as Sunflowers, Daisies, Zinnias, Asters, Marigolds and Geraniums are good and easy to find. There are others but these are readily available in the spring. Include perennials in your mix as well.
Whether you use plants or seeds, make sure your flower selection blooms successively over the spring, summer and fall. This will provide food throughout all seasons.
Choose colors that are most attractive to honey bees; blue, orange, purple and yellow.
If you want to learn more about honeybee gardens, check out The Honeybee Conservancy. Type in this link: http://thehoneybeeconservancy.org/act-today-2/plant-a-bee-garden/
I wanted to share Kara’s review of Keeper Of My Heart! Just follow the Link to her wonderful review! Kara added a song from You-Tube to help readers understand Katie’s “true” feelings about Max! 🙂
In my book, Keeper Of My Heart, my heroine, Katie McCullough, has a special bond with an elderly man whom she “adopted” at age ten as her ‘stand-in’ grandfather. One of the things I love about Katie is her devotion to this wonderful man.
As a child growing up in New Orleans, I knew a kind elderly lady named, Mrs. Bulleman. I called her Mrs. B. She lived across the street from us and for the most part was house bound. My mother, an avid gardener, had a cutting garden in the front of our little house on Wilton Drive, and once a week during the summer she’d cut a bouquet of flowers for her.
I had the privilege of bringing the flowers over to her house. As a little girl, this was a highlight for me because I was allowed to cross the street ‘all by myself’. I felt very grown up and knew I was doing something grand when I handed over the lush bouquet to this lovely lady. I can still see the joy on her face as she took the flowers from me. Most of the time she’d invite me in for a cold lemon aid and a piece of chocolate. I remember sitting in her semi dark parlor leaning over the coffee table hoping I’d pick a piece with a nut inside.
One Christmas when I was about nine or ten, I was in Sears shopping for presents with my mother. Armed with fifty cents I went through the store looking for something I could buy for my only living grandmother and for Mrs. B. I had adopted her as my ‘in town’ grandmother so no way could I leave her out. A sales lady suggested I buy each of them a butter knife. They were only twenty cents each. So I did.
The knife I bought for Mrs B.
As the years went by and I grew older, it was my mother who took Mrs. B. her ‘weekly’ bouquet. But once, in my teen years, just as I was about to go out with friends, my mother grabbed me. “Run these over to Mrs. Bulleman. She hasn’t seen you all summer.”
I crossed the street with flowers in hand and was met with the same joyful reception I remembered as a child. Mrs. B. kindly offered me something cool to drink. I looked back at my friends, motioned for them to wait, and stepped inside her parlor.
Several years after Mrs. B died I was home planning my wedding when her daughter showed up at our back door. She smiled and handed me the little butter knife I’d given her mother all those years ago. A sweet flood of memories filled me as I recalled the day I bought her that knife. Her daughter shared with me how much my gift had meant to her mother and knew she would’ve wanted me to have it back.
Today, that simple, inexpensive knife sits by my butter dish. We use it every day. For me it’s a precious reminder of Mrs. B’s gracious acceptance of a small child’s gift and of how a life is touched by thoughtful actions and the simplest things.
Growing up, did you have an elderly neighbor that influenced you in a meaningful way? Or maybe, there’s someone right now in your life that holds a special place as a surrogate grandparent either to you or to your children? Is there a special object or gift that reminds you of this person?
Okay, how did the closet de-cluttering go? I hope you have several boxes to give away and some to throw away by now. And hopefully, some of you were able tackle other areas of your home.
By now you’ve had a chance to realize you don’t need any of the things stuffed in those bags. If you do, go ahead and take them out and put them away. It’s okay. 🙂 Now, if you haven’t already done so, put the rest in your car and either take it to the trash or to your nearest Salvation Army or Good Will drop off center.
Whew! Breath deeply! You did it! You’ve won the first round!
Next, I want you to tackle your kitchen pantry. This is a diet, too, remember. Take a good look at the food items stored on those shelves. You know what’s bad for you so get that grocery bag, the brown paper one so you can’t see through it and start loading it up. Take out anything you know is unhealthy, processed foods (unless you bought them from a health food store, then they’re probably okay) sugary foods, candy, cookies, potato chips. Read the labels. Any food that has ‘partially hydrogenated’ anything is BAD for you. Throw it out! That is a BAD fat! There are good fats and they are found in foods like almonds, walnuts, avocados and cold water fish like salmon and halibut. Add these to your grocery list.
Once you clean out your pantry and shop for healthy fresh alternatives, you will be ready to start eating healthy. There should be nothing left in your pantry to tempt you! The next thing you need to do is eat smaller portions and take a fifteen to twenty minute walk every day. If you do this there is no need to count calories. The key is to be aware of what you put in your mouth. Will your choice result in health, energy and beauty or will it bring weight gain, sluggishness and sallow skin. For those of you who don’t read regency romances, sallow means having a dull, sickly complexion, 🙂
So get to it. Start on your food pantry and let me know what you struggled with. What pep talk did you give yourself that helped you to part with those peanut M&Ms?
I love New Year’s resolutions! There’s something about starting with a clean slate. I love the thought of finally loosing twenty pounds, de-cluttering the closets, the drawers, the pantry, the basement, the mudroom…you get the idea. Then life happens and the best plans fizzle out.
But this year I’m going to make it.
Let me ask you. Do you want to get rid of all the junk that’s crammed in your drawers and stuffed in your closets? Do you want to loose weight? To get into those skinny jeans that have happily mocked you from the back of your closet for …how long?
Well, I do and this year I’m going to succeed. Why? Because I’ll have you in my corner. And I’ll be in your corner. We’ll cheer each other on. We’ll clap and do the snoopy dance whenever one of us looses five pounds of fat or five pounds of clutter. That’s the goal. Five little pounds at a time.
Did you know that research shows that clutter in your house shows up on your hips, tummy and rear end? It’s true. I’m a perfect example! So here’s the plan. We’re going to start by getting organized. I know, I know. If we were organized we wouldn’t have all that clutter and excess weight on our hips. But, all I’m talking about here is starting small with a teeny, tiny little plan. Something to get us started and to keep us motivated on this de-cluttering thing.
Now, you and I both know there are a million ways to do this. After all, we’ve read every de-cluttering book out there! But, let’s keep this simple. You will need two empty boxes or sacks. Mark one ‘to give away’ and one ‘to throw away’.
To get started, I want you to start with your clothes closet- drawers, boxes…any place that holds anything and everything you wear. If you just want to de-clutter and not loose weight then start anywhere you want. Pick a room or an area in your house that you’re sick of looking at because of all the junk and the mess. You’ll feel terrific when you’re done!
Now, walk around that space and take a good look because when you’re done this closet is going to look a lot different. Stream-lined, organized and efficient. When you get finished, you are going to love getting dressed in the morning.
Now grab the two boxes, then go through each rack, drawer and shelf and take an honest look at the items. If you haven’t used it, worn it in over a year or if you hate it but kept it because your mother or your best friend gave it to you, GET RID OF IT. Put it in one of those boxes. If you’re not sure about it, put it in the give away box. (this does not mean you’re giving it away, you’re just getting it out of your closet)
Now Here’s The Key…DON’T STOP AND THINK, JUST TAKE ACTION.
What is your initial thought about the item, DO what that thought told you to do. One of the main reasons we have difficulty parting with things is because we are emotionally attached to the item. That’s why I don’t want you to stop and think, to stress or second guess. Remember, you haven’t thrown anything away yet, you can always retrieve it later.
Now, go to another area or room and do the same thing. Don’t get discouraged. For most of you, this process will take days, maybe even weeks. That’s okay. Focus on your closet over the week-end. Make sure you haul away everything in the ‘throw away’ box. That one act alone should make your pants feel looser! 🙂 Then store the other boxes in the spare room until next week.
Remember, ACT on your first impulse about the item in question. If you stop and think, it will stay in the closet.
Go! Girls, Go! Then post a response and let me know how you did. If you’ve de-cluttered in the past let me know how you did it. What worked for you. What didn’t.
More to come on Darcy’s De-Cluttering Diet in next weeks post. We’ll be focusing on the pantry in preparation for the diet!
My interview is up at Linda Weaver Clarke’s Blog Spot! I’ll be there through the 19th. I’m giving away an ebook of my latest release, Rogue’s Son. So stop by and leave a comment, ask a question or just say hi! I’d love to hear from you!
Darcy Flynn 